


Dean Versus the Critters

by asrewrites



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, F/M, Gen, Horror, dusk til dawn, movie prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 20:07:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17127917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asrewrites/pseuds/asrewrites
Summary: I wrote this for a Tumblr challenge (oh the good old days) and I really thought it was a good story so I'm reposting it here. It was for Samii gets scary andMy prompt was: Scythe and the movie quote “Do they look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They were vampires! Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don’t give a fuck how crazy they are!”It's a dark and stormy night and Dean and Baby hide in a barn.





	Dean Versus the Critters

It had been a long hunt, and Sam and Dean had had to split up. Dean had found a barn off the highway to stash Baby. He didn't want to leave her alone so he’d looked around the place. There was fresh hay everywhere but not an animal or person in sight.

Dean climbed up a ladder and found a loft, again covered in fresh hay. He smirked when he saw the light switch and almost crowed with glee, settling instead for pumping his fists in the air; when flicking the switch brought to life a tiny black and white tv that was already playing commercials. Dean rubbed his hands together, it seemed his luck was changing.

He took some time rearranging the hay so that he felt comfortable spread out there and still in view of the tv. He debated for a bit if this was better or worse then the last hotel he’d stayed in, then remembered that that place was haunted and he’d woken up cover in beetles and snakes everytime he’s managed to catch a little shut-eye. So far the hay was a giant step up. He wrapped the bottom of his shirt around his hand and worked the bulb free of the light socket. No sense in alerting anyone that he was here. The light of the tv wasn’t going to be enough to raise suspicion he reasoned as he lay back down. He caught himself wondering what kind of bugs might be around here and shook himself before focusing his attention on the tv.

He knew he had fallen asleep, mostly because when his eyes snapped open George Clooney was on the screen. George’s leather vest and neck tattoo, as well as the sight of Quentin Tarantino, let Dean know he was being treated to From Dusk ‘Til Dawn. He propped himself up a bit but scooting back and frowned, he’d slept through Selma Hayek’s dance routine.

He watched the action on screen with as much interest as he could muster. His stomach growled and then he heard another rumble. He listened closely but couldn’t pinpoint it so he got up and turned the sound down on the tv. He knelt there and waited and heard it again. It was far off, but it was thunder. He groaned, starving during a thunderstorm. One of his least favourite things to do. He looked up at the roof and hoped it was in good shape. He didn't want to be wet, cold hungry and starving all night.

He turned the sound back up, not as loud this time. If he had thought the barn looked like a good place to hide before the rain, chances were good that someone could feel the same way now that the storm was coming, or once it started in earnest. As if on queue the patter of rain started on the wooden roof and Dean sighed. He waited and hoped that he wouldn’t feel any splatters of wetness.

He must have fallen asleep again. He startled awake as George Clooney exclaimed “Do they look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They were vampires! Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don’t give a fuck how crazy they are!”

Dean chuckled. It was so true. The crazies never exploded, unless they strapped a bomb to themselves, and let’s face it; that wasn’t Dean’s usual gig so he’d never seen it in person. He briefly wondered where Sam was and if he was doing alright. That kid had a way of getting himself into the silliest kinds of trouble. How else could you explain his marriage to Becky, that time he swapped bodies or, well, any number of things. Sam was a good kid though.

Since the movie was over and he felt restless, Dean decided to take another tour of the barn. He intended to check the doors and windows, Baby, grab a few weapons and maybe that scythe he had seen lying against the wall when he came up here. He worked his way down the ladder as quietly as possible, no sense in alerting anyone around to him being here. The rain would have covered the sounds from outside, but Dean was more worried about what it might have kept him from hearing as it got inside.

The light switch in the loft above hadn’t turned on any lights below and Dean sighed lowly. He hadn’t even thought of that until now. That was sloppy. That last hunt had messed him up more then he’d realized. He snuck over to Baby and carefully opened the door. Belatedly he looked under the car for lurkers then checked left and right before he crouched and slithered his arm in and under his seat. He pulled out an angel blade and his ivory gripped colt. 

Dean slipped each piece onto his person and pushed the car door closed, using his upper body to push the door flush and click it into place. He took a deep breath and stood up slowly, he peered into the murky barn and almost smacked himself in the head when he remembered he hadn’t picked up the scythe on the way down here from the loft. He shook his head and then hurried over to get the damned thing.

The scythe was one of those shorter hand held ones he had seen on tv before but not up close. It was heavier then it looked, but still fairly balanced and it looked to have been recently sharpened. A loud creak came from behind him and he spun towards it, looking into the gloom. The problem with barns was that they weren’t created to let light in and the storm had only made the shadows and general gloom deeper.

His ears strained for any sounds as he tried to keep his breathing even. He didn’t want to be the reason he didn’t hear something until it was too late. HE put his back up against the wall he had taken the scythe away from and waited. He was far enough from the ladder that someone or something going by probably wouldn't see him. If it was a vamp or were, they might sense or smell him though. Not much he could do about that, but hope if something was here that it was human and not better at seeing in the dark then he was.

After a few minutes of listening to the rain thrash along the building, Dean felt the creak was either the building settling or possibly the wind had caught a door or window and pulled it until it couldn't go further and it protested. He moved slowly along the wall and strained to hear anything that might betray his not being alone in the barn. The hay made a soft rustle as he moved, it was nothing that was too obvious and suddenly Dean was worried that he was being hunted by a ninja. Ninjas didn't make any noise.

He stopped and pushed his back against the wall. What the hell was wrong with him? Ninjas weren’t going to be interested in him. He smiled and shook is head, barely keeping his laugh in.

He was ready to climb back up that ladder and got to sleep when he caught a faint groan. He waited and then he heard a creak. He gripped the scythe and moved slowly in the direction of the sounds. As he reached the furthest part of the barn he saw a sliver of light. The contrast between the darkness inside and the grey outside silhouetted a from that was half inside the door. From this vantage point, Dean could not tell if the form was human or not, or if it was moving enough to breathe.

He slowly crossed to the other wall, feeling safer with something solid at his back. Normally Dean wouldn’t be this edgy, but he was tired and hungry. He was starting to wonder if he wasn’t just having some elaborate nightmare that chopped together several scary movies. The whole thing right now just seemed so surreal. The thing in the door moved, more like shook and part of it moved. The moving thing was long. In the dark, it was hard to tell and the dull grey light didn’t help. It wasn’t until lightening flashed and the long thing twitched that Dean was certain the long thing was an arm and that he had seen fingers.

Secure in the idea it wasn’t something with tentacles Dean approached the door. It was a person. They were facing the door, one arm under them and one flung up over their head, now curled around the door. Dean didn’t want to scare them, but he also didn't want to stay out in the open if this person had been attacked by someone out there. He quickly poked them in the arm and hissed “Psst.”

When that didn't get a reaction he did it again. “Psst. Hey. Can you move?”

The body groaned and rolled toward him. The person had blood on their forehead but no obvious cuts and the blood was congealed, so that meant the wound not be bleeding anymore but it also meant head trauma and this person might not be themselves. He huffed a bit and looked at them in the face. Fair, blonde, short hair. He smirked. This was a woman. She was dressed like someone from a catalogue, everything matched. Her shirt, shorts and shoes were all complimentary and he shook his head. Ye this was a night mare alright. Suburban Mom meets Dean Winchester in a barn in the middle of nowhere. The PTA would love this if that’s all it was. 

Without wasting more time he grabbed the woman’s arms and dragged her through the door. He shut it and used the twine to hook over the bent nail along the frame. It was a makeshift handle he had noticed in the dim light, and it would have to do. He wasn’t expecting anyone to come by and maybe this person owned the place. She could have tripped and fallen, getting herself to the closest safety that she knew of. If he was crashing in her barn, it made sense to help her. It might keep her from calling the cops on him.

He pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open, using the light from the screen to look her over. She groaned at the light and tried to wave him off. At least she wasn’t out cold. He didn’t need another body on his rap sheet. Even as he thought it he scoffed, not that anyone would know he had been here, he was fairly certain that nothing had followed him here and not eve Sam knew where he was. Cas would if Dean called him, but laying low wasn’t laying low if the angel brigade knew where you were.

Still, he might have to do it if this woman didn’t perk up soon and there was something out there looking for her. Dean sat back on his heels and watched her for a bit. “Y’know lady I need a little help here. Did something attack you or are you just clumsy?” He spoke quietly and waited, hoping that his words might prompt her to respond in some way. He tugged his hand through his hair and down over his face. Christ, he was tired.

“Something hit me and I fell and hit my head.”

Dean looked back at her. “Something?”

He saw her move in the dimness and guessed that she was nodding, “Hard and fast but small. Like a basketball.”

“But?”

“But,” she paused and he heard her voice change, “I think it had teeth.”

Aww fuck. Something small with teeth, that could jump or fly at people? Maybe it had been launched from somewhere but that meant either it wasn’t alone or it was really smart. Dean was just starting to wonder if maybe she was messing with him when a light appeared in front of her. He watched her move her own phone over her shirt and saw the tears in the fabric. There were places where it really looked as if something had tried to chew through it. She had layers on he noticed as she pulled open the shirt and exposed the white cotton tank beneath it. There were scratches on the exposed skin, but nothing too deep. Whatever had done that had gotten a mouthful of cloth for its trouble.

She sighed and then giggled when she confirmed for herself that she wasn’t bitten, just scratched. She laughed louder and Dean shushed her. She glared at him and he shrugged.

“Look, they don’t know where you are right? Don’t give yourself away, or me either.” Her eyes widened and then she nodded.

“You’ve seen it? Them?”

“Uh, no. I’m just guessing that there might be more than one. Of course just one is enough to deal with in the dark during a rainstorm. Speaking of, what were you doing outside in this?”

“I wanted to make sure the horses were secure. I guess they aren’t in here though.”

“This is a horse barn? I haven’t seen a single animal since I’ve been here.”

“How long have you been here? I had three horses in here this morning. I went to town and got back a couple of hours ago.”

“I got here while you were out, and there wasn’t a creature here but me until I found you.”  
“I’m hoping that someone stole my horses then.”

“Me too,” agreed Dean. The alternative was either the thing that attacked her had already found and eaten the horses in the barn and then cleaned up all evidence that they existed or possibly the thing(s) had chased the horses out in an attempt to chase down their meal? Dean found both options were equally disturbing.

“Look, I’m not going to ask why you’re hiding out in my barn, but I can see you have that old scythe I use for chopping weeds. I’d like to ask that you don’t use it on me ok?”

“Sure thing,” Dean said with a smirk. “I’m saving it for things that go bump in the night.”

She smiled at that and nodded. The rain picked up its pace and the sound of it increased inside enough to have them both looking up a the ceiling. Dean stood and offered her a hand and she took it. He pulled her up and she brushed the hay that was sticking to her skin off before she re-buttoned her chewed shirt. He stepped aside and motioned for her to go before him. She owned the barn and would know her way around better than he did.

She headed for the empty stalls Dean had seen earlier, using her phone to confirm what he said. There was no sign that anyone had been here, or that this place had recently had horses in it. There was no dung, no feed, not a hair in sight. She ran her phone over the walls looking for traces of anything and, in the last stall, collapsed to the floor in confusion.

“This doesn’t make any sense. I’ve never heard of thieves cleaning a place up like this. All the hay is fresh, not even a hint os horse piss. Aside from the fact this place has been here 15 years and it shows on the outside, I’d say it was brand new from the smell alone.”

Dean shook his head. It made sense that a place that had recently had animals in it would smell that way and yet it hadn’t when he arrived. Not knowing that there was supposed to be livestock here hadn’t bothered him then, but her words were making his skin crawl.

“Maybe we should get out of here.”

“We can’t go out there. It’s out there,” she whined and Dean understood that she thought he meant walk out there.

“My car’s in here. We can drive to town or wherever you want to go. That thing barely got through your shirt, so I’m guessing that the tires, glass and metal will protect us just fine.”

“You parked a car in here?” she yelped. He heard her movements as she came towards him. The light on her phone had gone out while she sat and now it bloomed into life, blinding him as she aimed it in his direction. “It’s a barn!”

“A big, empty barn.” Dean chided as he turned and headed for Baby. Once she got a load of Baby, the woman would understand. He marched forward and could hear her making her way quickly behind him. He Smiled when Baby came into view but that smile soon slipped from his face to be replaced by a tight-lipped grimace. Baby was listing. He hurried around to the lowered side and found the reason thanks to the woman’s phone light. She gasped and Dean kicked at the fuzzy thing trapped under the deflated tire. It looked like a dirty tribble, full of teeth and spikes.

“Is this what attacked you?” Dean turned to her and saw she nodded as she looked wildly around to see if there were more of those things around. “Fuck me.”

Dean muttered the last bit and she screamed. He spun towards the sound of tittering and saw six of those furry things along Baby’s roof. They had red eyes and were making a sound much like a nervous titter. Their mouths were open wide and there were rows upon rows of teeth in them. Dean gulped and the woman just kept on screaming. Dean remembered that he had the scythe, and as fast as he could he swiped it through the lot of them, chopping five of them neatly in half and nicking the sixth as it rolled away.

“Fuck was that?” Dean wondered as he used the scythe to fling the ten pieces of toothy tribble off Baby’s roof.

He turned back to the woman, that he was now not so affectionately thinking of as the useless screamer and grabbed her. She slapped at him but did stop screaming. He pulled her towards the car, opened the door and dragged her forward. “Get in, close the door and for god’s sake stop screaming.”

She fell into the seat and Dean barely waited for her to pull her legs into the car before he slammed the door shut and ran around the front of the car to the driver's door He heard something snick past his ear, but he didn’t turn to see what it was. He pulled open the door and heard/felt something bounce off it before he pulled it closed behind him. 

“Did those things have arms and legs,” she panted as she twisted back and forth in the seat, trying to see where they went.

“Maybe, I was a little focused on their teeth.”

“What the hell did you bring to my place mister,’ she demanded as something thumped onto the hood of the car.

“Look, lady, I don’t know what kinda place you got here, but I ain’t never seen these things and I sure as hell didn't bring them here. For all I know you’ve been breeding fucked up chipmunks or squirrels and they got loose!”

“I have horses! Horses that don’t open their mouth and look like they’re wearing dentures ripped outta a shark’s jaws. Horses damn you,” she said as she balled her fists and started to pound out her fear and frustration on Dean.

“Hey, hey.” He said in a soothing a voice as he could muster. She hit him hard in the face and he grabbed her wrist. “Now stop that lady. I don’t want to hurt you but I’ll knock you out if you don’t knock it off.”

She pulled away from him and sat back against the seat with a pout. What the hell was her problem? She was safe and sound. The car didn't have a flat and she wasn’t going to risk ruining the rim by driving on it anyway. He turned to the lookout the windshield and came eye to eye with one of those fuzzy nightmares. It almost looked like it was smiling the way all those little teeth sat in its mouth, but that mouth was easily half the entire length of its body.

“That’s not a squirrel or a chipmunk,” she rasped beside him and he let the chill it gave him run down his body. He felt the little hairs all over stand on end as the thing on the hood waved its good arm at them. This must be the one he missed with the scythe. Its other arm was there, but barely hanging on from the looks of things. It winked at them and then curled up and rolled away, the maimed arm flopping weirdly like a tail as it went.

“Look I don’t know your name, and I’m sorry I accused you of knowing or doing whatever the fuck that was,” said the woman sitting beside him as she gestured towards the hood of the car. “I was just scared. I swear, I will pay you, I have about 5 grand in savings and you can even hide in my barn whenever you need to, just. PLEASE. Get me out of here.”

Dean swallowed as her hand closed over his arm and he fished the keys out of his jacket pocket. He hit something when he did that, something thin and smooth and his mind questioned if that was one of what had snicked past him as he got in the car. He thanked God for thick leather and turned the key in the ignition. The car roared to life and then a garbled scream was heard. Dean decided that if that thing had been trying to fuck with Baby it go what it deserved and he put the car in reverse before stomping on the gas and rocketing out of the barn straight through the closed doors.

“Fuck!”

“Use that money to replace them,” growled Dean as he pulled the wheel and Baby slewed to a stop facing down the driveway he had driven up hours before. He almost didn’t notice that she had rolled down the window until she screamed as a cool breeze hit him. She had one of those things stuck to her upper arm and without thinking, Dean grabbed his gun, pointed it at the deranged tribble and fired. It flew away from her, taking a chunk of skin with it and Dean stomped on the gas to get the hell out of there before another one turned up.

From what he could see in the darkness there was nothing small and furry rolling after the car but he didn’t stick around to check properly as lightning flashed and the rain picked up. He could smell the ozone from the strike and hoped that God in his wisdom had taken out whatever was left of the furry horrors that he’d just barely left behind. He took the next turn in the road a little too sharply and his passenger fell against him.

At first, Dean thought she might have passed out from the bite, but as she slid forward into his lap he could see the little spike sticking out of the skin in her neck. He hoped it wasn’t poison as he plucked it from her and dropped it on the floor. He hoped that there would be traces of whatever was on it after its time on the floor, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Five hours down the road he found a rest stop and pulled in. He didn't take the time to pull out the thin spikes he found in the side panel of his car. Baby would be primed, filled and painted when that happened; no sense giving rust a chance to set in.

He popped open the hood and groaned at the smell that came off the engine. Whatever parts of that thing that hadn’t fallen away or been splattered on the inside walls of the engine compartment and were cooked onto the engine parts themselves. At least the fuzzy hellions weren’t corrosive or he would've really been pissed. He slammed the hood back into place, went and took a long piss and once back at the car pulled out his phone. He called Sam, gave him the highlights and set up a meet the next closest town, and got Sam to agree to get Cas to meet them there too. She hadn’t woken up yet and he wanted to cover all the bases he could before dropping her at a hospital and praying she didn't come to pissed and talking about him. 

The next day Dean met Sam at the hotel room door. Cas is standing behind him and Dean is brushing his teeth as he moves back into the room followed by both men.

“What the hell are these?” Sam croaks and waves a spike in Dean’s direction as Dean shrugs. “And why is there a woman passed out in the front seat of the car? And what the hell is with that smell out there? Did someone slaughter and burn something in the parking lot.”

Dean went back into the bathroom and spit out the toothpaste, rinsed his mouth and towelled off his face. He took a deep breath and gripped the sides of the sink while he looked at himself. He knew he had to go out there and explain to them what had happened, but he wasn’t even sure how to start. After a minute he blinked and then he stood up and rejoined Sam and Cas.

He took the dart from Sam and started his tale. Fourty minutes later Sam had taken the Impala to a wash center, Cas had determined the woman was just tranquillized and that it would wear off in a few more hours. He agreed to take you back to your farm and ensure that no other furry terrors were still around. Dean laid back in bed and caught a news program that showed your barn had burned to the ground during the storm, presumably struck by lightning. There were no mentions of the horses or the creatures, and for that Dean was thankful.

Dean woke up sometime later. He was face down on the bed and there was a familiar movie playing on the tv that he had left on. Just as he was rolling over to take a look at what was happening on the screen Dean heard the words that would always strike fear in him from now on.

“Do they look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They were vampires! Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don’t give a fuck how crazy they are!”


End file.
